Years ago, I was asked this question at a women's retreat. Everyone around me had a vision. I had nothing. I sat for a long time and absolutely nothing. There was a wall and that was it. A big black wall. My friends prayed over me. They prayed for that wall to come down and for me to see God. And that moment changed me.
I am a bit of a perfectionist and never measuring up to my own expectations on myself. I really don't remember a time in life when this was not true. Even as a young child, I would become completely overwhelmed with emotion convinced that I had not measured up somehow. These lies became the filter for everything in life... including how I saw God. It was hard for me to accept the truths found in Scripture about His love for me. His love that was not dependent upon any of my accomplishments but truly unconditional.
If you had asked me about God's unconditional love, I could give you an entire sermon complete with references. I had the knowledge of Truth but I had allowed lies from the enemy to cloud my vision of how this Truth applied to my own life. I could not completely accept the freedom that God offered to me through His Son Jesus Christ. It is not enough just to gain knowledge if that knowledge does not transform our hearts and our minds.
Are you unsure if you have allowed your knowledge of God to transform you? Take a look at your inner thought life. Consider what comes from you when life's trials put your under pressure. Evaluate your priorities and your passions. Ask those who know you best for their view as sometimes they can provide a perspective that we just cannot see ourselves. Are you living in freedom or are you still in bondage to your fears and insecurities and your sins? Freedom. Jesus came to bring us life, to bring us freedom and it all starts now.
When that black wall fell down, I was standing in the most beautiful evening sun. It was that time of day when all of creations looks its best. The grass fields around me gently swayed in a cool breeze and everything seemed to glow. I looked up into the eyes of my Father. He took my hands and then swung me around in a dance. A child and her Daddy. No fear. No condemnation. No guilt. No failure. Just love. I was completely undone by His incredible love for me. Come to that place with me friends. Taste and see His sweet, unending love for you.
"See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are" 1 John 3:1